Watching Glass Shatter Page 27
Chapter 27 – Olivia & Rowena
After the first major argument she had with Ben, Olivia had sought solace in a nearby park a few miles away from their home. She'd long forgotten what they disagreed about, but always remembered she'd driven around that afternoon until she came across a magnificent weeping willow marking the entrance to a few acres of reserved parklands on the western tip of Brandywine. She'd rarely spent any time in that part of town and hadn't previously noticed the park's beauty. Over the years, it became her private respite, where she could mull over any problem and eventually settle on a course of action. With everything happening the last few months, she'd forgotten about Willoughby Park but felt certain it was where she needed to be that morning on the first day of October.
Olivia chose to drive herself, leaving the car in the lot a few blocks away and crossed over to the entrance noticing the transition from summer to autumn occurring around her. The town had planted orange and red mums in the planter boxes, and a few yellow leaves were scattered on the ground amongst the pine and giant oak trees. She walked first to the weeping willow and admired its beauty silently wishing she'd shown Ben the place that would comfort her when they had a tiff. She sat on an old wooden bench tucked into a corner near the back gates weathered from the rain and snow over the years. She was grateful for a quiet, early morning in the park and selected those set of benches, given a series of trees covered one side and the back of a stone building protected the other. It offered shelter from the breeze and slight chill in the air.
A sparrow landed on a nearby tree, its deft claws balanced on a brittle branch. A few gray squirrels playfully chased one another in competition over the acorn nuts falling to the ground beneath the oaks. Their rambunctious game of hide and seek had been so distracting, she failed to notice the woman walking toward her.
“Olivia?” said a quiet, hesitant voice standing a few feet away.
Olivia lifted her eyes noticing first the woman's black leather flats and sheer nylon stockings, sensing the battle for control begin over the next steps. Rowena Hector stood dressed in a simple gray skirt falling at her knees, a matching long-sleeve jacket, and cream-colored silk shirt. She'd fashioned a delicate woven red dress hat with black trim and a rose in the front atop shoulder-length, slightly curly steel-gray hair. Her deep-set eyes, bluish green in color, sparkled against pasty skin which held little makeup other than a pale shade of red lipstick and blush. Medium height. Thin waist. An ordinary woman who seemed to live an ordinary life.
Olivia rose from her bench as Rowena extended her hand, the balance of scales between them set at equal. Olivia's hand grasped Rowena's noticing it was even colder than her own. She tried to guess Rowena's age, but couldn't be certain as while she appeared in her forties, a kind and easy life may have prevented her from aging. Rowena was seventeen when she gave up her son, but Olivia's mind could no longer focus on the math. “Yes, and you must be Rowena Hector?”
Rowena nodded.
Olivia had worked out a plan in her mind, determined to be the one to drive the conversation, ensuring Rowena answered her questions. It was imperative Olivia took the driver's seat, not only to protect herself, but also to protect her son. Olivia knew less than nothing about the woman and couldn't let Rowena destroy the family Olivia had repaired with fervent force. She pulled her hand away and pointed toward the bench. Olivia's eyes focused on the woman she feared held all the cards once seeing her in person.
“Thank you. This is a lovely park. I enjoy the fall weather,” Rowena said.
Olivia settled into the bench, her hands folded her lap, realizing Rowena still held a thick Scottish brogue. “It is beautiful. A quiet and calm place for you and me to meet. Hopefully, it's not too chilly for you.”
“No, I'm fine. It's much colder back in Michigan. I looked forward to seeing this part of the country again. I haven't been back here since…” Her voice trailed off.
“Since you had the baby.” Olivia got right to the point. Rowena had obviously wanted to connect with her past, given she'd come all this way.
“Aye, since I had the baby.” She became quiet, eyes focused on her gloved hands.
“I appreciate you coming back here. I can't imagine it made for an easy decision.” Olivia watched for any reactions hopeful the woman had no interest but a mere curiosity of her son.
“When Mr. Rattenbury called, I was surprised. It was a long time ago when I first arrived in America. I never forgot about the child, but I didn't have many options back then,” Rowena said. Her voice was direct, containing little emotion. “I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. My husband had surgery recently, and I couldn't leave him alone.”
Olivia nodded, understanding the delay, appreciative of the extra time it had given her with her son, yet worried it may have stolen time from Rowena. “Should I assume because you've come back, you're interested in meeting him?”
“Aye, I'd like to meet him. I have thought about him several times in the last few months. I don't have any other children.” Rowena focused on the ground, her eyes absorbed by a diligent ant carrying a piece of dried fruit across the stone path.
Olivia's skin grew clammy upon learning Rowena had no other children, assuming it meant she'd want to get close to her son now. “May I ask why?”
Rowena smiled at Olivia. “Certainly. I had an accident shortly after I left Connecticut. While I recovered from it during that first year, it left me unable to bear any more children.”
Guilt consumed Olivia, but she reminded herself she wasn't part of the decision—merely a victim of circumstance. Ben and Rowena had done this without Olivia's input. “I'm sorry.”
Rowena nodded. “There is no need to be sorry. I've had a long and fulfilling life. My husband had a few children from a prior marriage. They're a bit older, and one girl is in the way of having a child of her own. My husband is several years older than me. How many kids do you have?”
“I have five sons in total.” Olivia ensured she clearly included the one Rowena had given birth to as if it were still a battle for who could claim ownership over him.
“And does he know about me?”
“No, he does not. I didn't know until Ben died a few months ago.”
Rowena tilted her toward her left side and leaned forward with her eyes open wide. “You didn't know? I don't understand.”
Olivia realized Rowena knew little about what Ben had done. “I did not know. Ben must have arranged the switch with the nurse. I believed the baby was my son until Ben recently died. He left me a letter confessing he had switched the babies, as you had given up your son for adoption and mine died.” Olivia grasped the bench at the word died, her knuckles turning an instant white.
Rowena attempted to reach for Olivia's hand but pulled back as though something stopped her at the last second. “It must have been such a shock for you to find out. I'm so sorry for your loss.” Rowena paused and collected her thoughts. “For both of your losses. Ben was a decent and good man when I met him.”
Olivia hated the enervation that crept throughout her body, but she needed to understand how this happened. “Could you tell me how you met my husband?”
“Aye, I should.” Rowena stood and wrapped her hands across her arms walking in a pensive circle, each step in sync with her words. “I had been looking for someone to adopt the baby as I was in this country on my own. I found a young couple anxious to have a child, but right before I was due, they decided not to move forward with the adoption. I was stuck here alone, about to have a baby, not a cent to my name, and a new job waiting for me in Michigan. I went into labor, and my neighbor brought me to the hospital. She stayed behind in the waiting room since I had no one else with me. A few hours after the baby was born, a man came to me.”
She paused to give Olivia a chance to respond.
“And that's how you met Ben?”
“Yes. He met my neighbor who told him I had given birth to a child I was planning to give up for adoption. I could see the pain in
his eyes as he told me his child just died. He asked if I would consider giving my baby to him, and I agreed. It seemed the best solution. The nurse agreed to switch the two babies born within a few hours of one another. I never asked her why she did it, but she did. Ben covered my hospital costs as I had no money. The official record shows I gave birth to a baby who died shortly after being born. I left the hospital the next day and took a train to Michigan. I never spoke with Ben again.”
Olivia listened to Rowena's words experiencing many different emotions. Relief she had been allowed as much time with her son as she had but fear over Rowena's decision to return to Connecticut. “Why do you want to meet him now?”
Rowena stopped walking in circles, looked away from Olivia, and spoke with a timid voice. “When I heard about Ben's death, I knew I needed to talk to the woman who raised the baby as her own son. A powerful and overwhelming need to close the chapter, and that part of my life suddenly appeared. I'm planning a trip back to Scotland for the first time since I came to America. I never doubted my decision to give up the baby for adoption, but before my past and I are reacquainted, I need to know how it ended.”
A connection developed with Rowena at that point, a bond between two women who shared a common element. Rowena was on her own quest to confront the past she'd left behind when she left Scotland. Olivia knew it must have been difficult for Rowena to leave her family and homeland to come to America. “How did you know my husband would be a good father to your baby? Weren't you worried you knew nothing about him?”
“No. I have always been able to read people. I could tell he was a strong and honorable man who would provide a good home for my son.” Rowena turned and stared at Olivia. “Besides, as soon as he told me he already had four boys, I knew it was the right decision.”
Olivia's heart stopped beating, her mind keenly aware of the silence the vacuum brought with it. The wind shook a few acorns off its branch. Olivia's eyes followed their path to the shady ground below the tree. When they collided with the dirt, everything else fell quiet around her. She let out a warm, deep, and heavy breath. Steam poured from her mouth and rose past her distant eyes. The trembling when Rowena first approached her had disappeared. In its place, a giant pit opened leaving a sense of great despair as her mind processed Rowena's words.
“Ethan.”
“What did you say?”
“Your son's name. Ethan.”
Rowena smiled as she sat next to Olivia. “I told Ben the baby's father's name was Ethan.”
Olivia's mind raced attempting to interpret what it all meant. She let out a brief sigh to regain her focus. Olivia stared at Rowena recognizing for the first time she and Ethan shared the same long and narrow nose, recalling all the clues hiding before her but had ignored every time. “Ben told me he wanted to name the baby Ethan. I never knew why he picked that name. Did the father know you gave up the baby for adoption?”
Rowena closed her eyes. “No, he never knew. He was a reporter I met back home one day while on a trip to Edinburgh. We dated for a few weeks when he received an assignment to cover the war in Bosnia. On the night before he left, we were together for our last time. The next day, he left Scotland and took up with a wee refugee camp to cover the war for the tele. We kept in contact for the first month, but one day he stopped responding to my messages. A few weeks went by without any correspondence, and I grew nervous. I tried to contact the news station, but they wouldn't give me any information as I was a minor… still seventeen years old. When I learned that I was with child, I panicked.”
“That's awful. I'm so sorry.” Olivia's stomach sank when realizing how scared Rowena must have been.
“My family knew nothing about the reporter, and he was several years older than me. I was forced to ask my father for help, and I begged him to call the station to find out what happened. My father was terribly upset with me but called them only to learn a bomb had gone off a few weeks prior killing several journalists and civilians. I was heartbroken. Eventually, my father threw me out of the house in disgrace. I stayed with a friend for a few months, but I couldn't stay forever. I decided to move to America on my eighteenth birthday when I was six months along with Ethan.”
“You've been through a lot of pain, Rowena. Just as I have these last few months.”
Rowena nodded. “Aye, but it was a long time ago. I know it will be difficult when I go back to Scotland in a few weeks. It's time I reconnected with my family back home. It's also the reason I wanted to meet with you. I wanted to hear what happened to my son and maybe meet him if he was open to learning who I am.”
“He's a good son. I'm certain he'd want to meet you.” The hollow words left a stinging, bitter taste on her lips.
“Tell me about him.” Rowena's wistful eyes pleaded for information. “What was he like as a child?”
Olivia searched her memory for the story she needed to tell, confident she wanted to do justice to her baby before sharing the news of his illness. “My sister and I had taken him to New York City one afternoon to see Spiderman while his brothers were on a fishing trip with their father. Ethan was too young to go with them as they were already teenagers at that point. Before the show, we had stopped to buy sandwiches at a delicatessen near the theatre. As we walked Seventh Avenue, Ethan asked me about the men and women sleeping on the streets. He wanted to know where they lived. I tried to pull him away from them, afraid they'd be crazy or hurt him. Fear of others never even entered Ethan's mind. I told him they were homeless and lived on the streets. He asked me how they found meals. I didn't know what to tell him. But he'd already known. He'd opened his sandwich bag, roast beef, his favorite, and walked to an older couple on the corner and handed it to them. He told them we bought it for them. I knew my seven-year-old boy was the pinnacle of innocence and kindness. Ever since that trip, Ethan insisted we buy meals for the homeless on all the holidays. And every year, on the same day, he buys dozens of sandwiches and hands them out along Seventh Avenue.”
“You raised him well, Olivia.” Rowena smiled. “Tell me more.”
Olivia knew she needed to tell her Ethan was dying. Information of that degree could not be denied to the woman. Forgetting about the entire situation and worrying about the implications of Ben's actions years before, Olivia found the courage to tell Rowena the truth. She proudly covered Ethan's decision to become a doctor and his marriage to Emma. She shared with Rowena a few more stories about Ethan's childhood and his genuinely good soul. She explained his illness and how he had only a few more weeks to live. Olivia waited for Rowena to speak, but she did not.
Two young children played in the grass a few feet away from where they sat. Rowena took a few moments before responding to Olivia.
An intense need for closure compelled Olivia to ask the question that could change the face of her family forever. While opening her purse with one hand, Olivia searched for the envelope with the other. Once found, she clasped it between her fingers and pulled it through the opening knowing it was time to relieve herself of the burden she'd been carrying for far too long. Relief soon appeared over choosing not to burn it the night of the wedding when her mind was weak and searched for the easiest solution.
Handing the envelope to Rowena, she spoke. “This belongs to you and Ethan.”
Rowena accepted her husband's truly final communication to his son and pulled out the contents. Before she read it, she said, “Is this from Ben?”
Olivia nodded. “He wanted me to give it to Ethan once you had acknowledged you wanted to meet your son.”
“Thank you.” She smiled as if a great weight lifted when she held the letter in her hand.
“Would you want me to arrange a meeting with Ethan?” Olivia was unsure how to take that step, but recognized it was necessary.
“I need to think about everything you've told me.” Rowena stood and walked toward the front entrance, glancing at the new buds forming on the mums on the side of the pathway and descending deep into thought.
O
livia called after her wanting to ask Rowena to pretend none of this ever happened but knowing it was not her choice. Instead, she said, “We don't have much time.”
“A day to come seems longer than a year that's gone.”
Olivia listened to Rowena's words, failing to comprehend what they meant. Her days had been long, the years already gone. “I'm not certain I understand.”
“It's an old Scottish proverb, Olivia. Years may pass, but when you have something difficult to do, a decision around the corner, a minute, an hour, a day can seem an eternity. You can choose to think we never have enough time. Or you can choose to believe we are given just the amount we need.”
“Time is never what you think it is, Rowena.”
Rowena never turned but replied while walking away. “I will call you tomorrow, Olivia. I appreciate you letting me decide. I know how hard it must have been, and it takes a strong and determined woman… mother… who can put her own heartache aside for the benefit of her son.”
Chapter 28 – Rowena
Rowena shuffled across the grassy path, her feet idling every few steps as she searched along the row to find the proper marker. Given she'd never been to the site before, and whoever answered her morning inquiry was not helpful, it was possible she'd already gotten lost. As her eyes swept by the numbers identifying each lot, a sense of confidence grew inside her. Once she arrived a bit closer, she was certain she'd found the place. Situated directly in front of her, freshly planted, stood the stone she was not yet ready to see. Her eyes focused on the words chiseled on its front plate.
Ethan Glass
(b) 13 January 1994
(d) 21 October 2017
Loving Son, Brother & Husband
Rowena recalled the moment she'd learned she was pregnant with him over twenty-four years ago. Alone and empty, she knew her baby's father had been killed in an explosion and her family would disown her. Her father couldn't even look at her for getting pregnant at such a young age without having been married. Her mother had been too scared to disagree and chose to support her husband's decision to kick out their daughter. Her younger brother had wanted to help, but there was nothing he could do, as he was barely a teenager himself.