Watching Glass Shatter Page 15

  “Better since we talked. I'm heading back from a run. It cleared my mind.” He zipped open the pouch on his windbreaker.

  “Good. I know you don't want me to tell anyone, but I'm worried about you. You need to get help.”

  “I know, Mom. I will. I need a few days to prepare and decide how to tell Margaret. We talked a little tonight. You're right. We're having another baby. The Yankees won. Things are looking up again for me. It'll all work out.” Matt turned on the cold water.

  “I suppose I should say congratulations even if it doesn't comfort you with the warm and fuzzies. You'll figure it out, but you need to avoid any dependency on those pills the next few days. I'll talk to Ethan when I arrive in Boston. I'm taking the train tomorrow morning, but I won't tell him I'm asking for you. I'll tell him it's for a friend.”

  “I appreciate it, Mom. Listen, I need to take a shower and tuck in the girls. We'll talk on the weekend.”

  Matt clicked the end button on his phone and checked his reflection in the vanity mirror. A man with tired red eyes and an empty stare peered back. He opened the spare bottle he'd retrieved from the windbreaker, cupped his hand under the faucet to capture a few drops of water, and swallowed two more pills.

  Just a few more days…

  Chapter 14 – Ethan & Olivia

  When his mom suggested she should visit him in Boston, Ethan jumped at the chance to finally have his mother meet the girl he'd wanted to propose to. On prior occasions, he was certain his mother's jaw had unhinged in preparation to swallow his sisters-in-law in one bite. Despite his mother's wavering standoffish and overly-direct attitudes, given what he'd witnessed with his brothers' wives, Ethan knew his mother's overprotective nature eclipsed every other aspect of her personality. It still left him concerned for Emma, who couldn't hurt a mouse, invoking curiosity whether she could hold her own against his mother.

  Emma and Ethan finished packing their suitcase in preparation for staying at the hotel with his mother while she visited. Even though the loft's size could accommodate Olivia, between painting and searching for more furniture, staying in ill-prepared quarters wouldn't suffice for his mother's visit. Ethan's mom offered to rent adjoining rooms at The Ritz Carlton, which meant they'd have plenty of space to relax and enjoy a mini-vacation. Both were excited to stay somewhere fancy especially given their need for a break from busy schedules.

  Ethan took the week off from school and kept limited rounds at the hospital, so he could spend a good part of the time with his mom. Emma split the week and planned to stay the first few days at the hotel to visit with Olivia, but she also needed to fly back home for a quick trip to Cleveland to catch up with her family before her teaching position started the next month.

  “Are you ready to meet my mom, Emma?”

  “Yes. I'm excited. I hope she likes me.”

  “She will love you as much as I do.” He slid the front door open.

  “Let's get out of here. I'm for sure going to relish a few days away from the smell of paint.”

  “You're heading straight to the hotel to check in while I meet her at the train station, right?”

  “Yup.”

  Ethan slipped his feet into his favorite gray loafers and grabbed the keys off the gold tray Emma's parents had bought for them on their last visit. He loved meeting them and understood where Emma's purity had come from. They barely knew him but already treated him like their son. It convinced Ethan they'd be a good support system for Emma, especially if he changed his mind about proposing to her based on the news he'd received from the doctor earlier that week.

  Olivia peered out the train's window as it passed through the final stop before her Boston arrival. Victor needed a few days off to check on his family, which prompted Olivia to take the train to Boston. She sipped her tea and thought about how to bring up the conversation with Ethan concerning his brother's addiction to various pills. She had little knowledge what Matthew took, but Ethan would certainly ascertain his brother's devil.

  Her mobile phone chimed. She still needed learn the phone's features and hadn't gotten familiar with the different sounds. After realizing it wasn't a call, she read a text message.

  Caleb: I should come home for Dad's birthday next month. Maybe we could all spend it together since this is the first year he's gone.

  Olivia knew it would be good to have him home for a few days, but she was surprised he wanted to come back so soon. Her phone's dancing little dots told her he'd written another message, admiring the ease at which she could hide behind the internet's protection, but worried her son had sensed her discomfort when it took her so long to reply. It chimed again with a harrowing persistence.

  Caleb: Perhaps it would be a good time for me to bring Jake.

  Olivia had momentarily forgotten about Jake, her son's secret husband. Her body still loitered in shock knowing he'd gotten married without telling his family. Olivia's often old-fashioned ignorance conjured awkward images and complexities over the fallout of two men getting married. It felt wrong, but she wasn't sure if it was simply her inexperience talking. The phone call from the adoption agency kept replaying in her mind. Are they really trying to have a baby? The phone chimed again.

  Caleb: We can stay in a hotel if it would be easier.

  Olivia looked across from her at the two men sitting together on the train seat. They were closely seated suggesting that her mind question if they were a couple. It hadn't occurred to her when she first sat on the train in Connecticut but getting Caleb's text challenged her to consider the option. Are any two men sitting close to one another a couple? Do I need to learn gaydar? How do you tell if they're just friends? Or more? Is it different than when a man and a woman are dating? What kind of wedding did they have? How do you raise a child in that kind of household? Who makes the bed in the morning if you don't have a housekeeper? How do they get intimate? Oh, Lord. I can't think about him having sex after what I saw. Piercings on his…

  Olivia considered talking to Ethan about Caleb's news, part of her reluctance to let herself accept her new son. Ethan might have insight she hadn't considered given his background in medicine and science. She texted back.

  Olivia: Let me think about it. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you. Mom.

  With each of her sons having problems and secrets, and a few of her own, as well as she multitasked, she needed to focus on Ethan. He would find the solution for each of the disasters.

  Ethan stood in the train depot a few feet away from where passengers would disembark. He'd told his mother to call his cell phone when she arrived, so he could find her. Ethan knew she was a little nervous being on her own in Boston. He flipped a coin to occupy his idle hands while waiting for her train to arrive. The last time his mother had visited Boston occurred with his dad when they attended Ethan's graduation. He wasn't ready to introduce Emma to his parents, as they had only been dating a few months, and he didn't even know if the relationship would last. Over the last year, he had become certain he'd met the woman he would marry, but he took his time to let their relationship evolve naturally, given they both still had to finish school. While he'd told his parents about Emma, and they acted enthusiastic, an actual introduction still hadn't occurred.

  As the passengers fluttered about the station, Ethan's mind drifted to the last conversation with his father shortly before he died…

  “Hey, Dad… I need to ask you a question,” Ethan said.

  “What is it, my boy? What can your father help with?” Ben said.

  “I'm in love with Emma. I'm gonna ask her to marry me.”

  “How long have you been together with her? We haven't even met this girl.”

  “Two years. She's moving into the loft with me next week.”

  “How do you know you love her?”

  “I wake up wanting to grow old with her. When I smell her perfume, I remember the comforts of home… when I was a child and felt all warm and fuzzy. She cares for and protects me… and well, you know, I want to be with her a
ll the time. And when she's gone, something's missing. Part of me disappears, replaced by a sense of emptiness until she's back in my arms.”

  “It sounds like you love her. But before you propose to her, maybe your mother and I ought to meet her?”

  “I'd love that. Maybe I could bring her to your anniversary party at the end of the month? And if you and Mom love her as much as I do, maybe I'll propose to her while we're home.”

  “Go for it, son… life is too precious not to take a few risks every now and again. You're a smart young man, and if you found the one… bring her home to meet us.”

  As the announcer called the arrival track for his mother's train, Ethan broke free from his memory while the train pulled into the platform.

  I wish you could have met her, Dad. I know you'd have loved her, too.

  Everything had changed after the conversation with his father. Ethan developed intense headaches, preventing any ability to concentrate sometimes culminating in dizziness and nausea. At first, he thought a merciless stress had overwhelmed his body assuming it would go away while life calmed over the summer. On the day before his father's accident, Ethan had been walking rounds at the hospital when a blinding pain in his right temple hit him. He passed out while taking a break in the hospital lounge, alone except for another medical student who quickly caught him and helped him sit. Ethan worried the hospital might force him to take a sabbatical if they learned he'd been unable to manage the workload or had any impactful medical issues. He had been tracking a tight schedule and didn't want to lose any time to meeting his goals. He'd no time for a serious illness.

  Ethan's symptoms improved on the drive to Connecticut for his parents' anniversary party, but he still visited a new doctor back in Brandywine where they wouldn't connect him with being a medical student in Boston. He'd expected to learn he had developed a thyroid problem or that a constricted flow of oxygen to his brain caused the frequent dizziness—all treatable conditions. After a few trips to the surgeon and several rounds of testing, he'd learned differently.

  Ethan saw his mother among a few hundred weekend travelers shuffling off the train. He met her at the end of the platform sharing a warm embrace. They headed to the hotel and met Emma in the lobby for cocktails, hoping it would ease the introduction.

  Ethan knew Emma was naturally gifted at relaxing people. She was good with children and beloved by his patients at the hospital. He had brought her on weekend rounds to give his sicklier patients a chance at smiling. While he had a benevolent bedside manner, it was often Emma's sweet nature and calming stories that enabled his patients to experience a few positive moments in the last months of their otherwise difficult lives.

  * * *

  Ethan and Emma took Olivia on several tours of Boston during the first few days of her trip. Ethan thought his mother and girlfriend had connected but feared misinterpreting the facts until he finally overheard them talking on Emma's last morning before her flight back home to her parents. He'd been dressing in the hotel bathroom as they chatted.

  “Emma, you're such a beautiful and intelligent girl. I understand why my son loves you.”

  “You're so sweet, Mrs. Glass. Although I miss my parents and want to see them, I wish I could stay here with you. The last few days have been so fun. I worried about meeting you this week.”

  “Please call me Olivia. Worried, why were you worried?”

  “Well, first, I'm so sorry about Mr. Glass. I never met him, but Ethan has talked about him with such admiration and love, almost as if I had time with your husband. But I worried because I can't imagine losing a husband. Ethan and I have only been together for two years, but I, for sure, would be devastated without him, you know, since we're together. And you were married for forty years. I couldn't possibly hold myself up as you have this whole week. I give you props. You're a strong role model for us girls.”

  “Emma, my dear girl. My life has been difficult, especially the last few weeks. I've learned more about my family since Ben's death than I did the entire time I've known them. And not one day has passed since I lost Ben when I haven't woken or gone to sleep crying, or both. I'm learning people put up walls and nothing is ever as it appears to be. All much faster than I can handle. Sometimes it's less about getting angry over a situation when you can't change it but figuring out a way to deal with it directly. I have a few of those I'm facing right now.”

  “You totes made my point. Your husband died less than two months ago, and you're already learning how to grow from it. You still have so much you need to do in your life to protect your family.”

  “Yes, apparently I do.”

  While Ethan took Emma downstairs to the lobby to catch a cab for her trip to the airport, Olivia ordered room service. Ethan wanted to stay in that night which made it easier for Olivia because she could privately talk with him about Matthew's problems. She'd already decided she could trust him with Matthew's secret, especially given she couldn't solve it on her own.

  Ethan arrived a few minutes later. “I'm back, Mom.”

  As he entered the room, she noticed his withdrawn eyes and pale skin. Olivia shivered at the invasive red lines that dominated the weakened blurry whites of his eyes. “Good. I know you were worried I may be a tad ruthless with Emma, concerned over my relationship with Sarah and Margaret. I need to relax and give everyone a chance. Emma is a delightful girl, but I have a different topic we need to discuss before dinner arrives.”

  Ethan walked over to his mother, throwing his arms around her neck. “I'm sick, Mom.”

  Olivia hugged Ethan. “Oh, I can cancel room service if you're not hungry.”

  “No, Mom. I'm really sick.”

  Olivia's motherly instinct assumed control, and she knew what he meant the second time. The hurt and pain with each prior sons' secrets combined into a single basket of horror, leaving her kicked deep in the gut and unprepared for anything else around her. She grabbed hold of her son, her brooch piercing through his white crew neck t-shirt to the skin from the force of her grip. As she pulled back, droplets of blood pooled on his chest. As a larger one formed, it separated from the fabric of his shirt, descending, and gliding to the ground through the stagnant air. Its lava eruption burned her when landing on her bare right boot, and its resounding splat penetrated her core. She had a momentary fright at the blood accepting that it isn't always thicker than water, especially if you don't share blood with that son. She desperately needed to locate Rowena Hector.

  “Tell me what's happened, Ethan. Tell me what's wrong.” Her voice quivered as if she'd already lost him.

  But it didn't matter what he said. The same haunting dark cloud loomed around them corralling her family in a den of despair. The skin on her neck and arms bristled. Her throat parched and swelled stealing her ability to breathe. A heavy weight pushed down on her body echoing quicksand driven by an unrelenting curse. The same paralysis tortured her a few months before when she heard no response from Ben on the phone the night of their anniversary party.

  Ethan replied, “I have a rapidly growing brain tumor, and the doctors give me less than three months to live.”

  * * *

  Ethan slept for a few hours in the hotel room's queen-size bed. Olivia had no desire to climb into her own bed. Instead, she sat in the comfortable extra-wide chair across from him the entire time he dozed rising once only to answer the door when room service arrived.

  When morning broke, Ethan rustled in the bed and opened his eyes. “Have you been sitting by my side the whole time, Mom?”

  “You need to eat to keep up your strength. I've ordered breakfast.”

  “Thank you. I am a bit hungry. Did you think about my questions from last night?” He rubbed a few specks of sand from his eyes.

  Ethan and his mother had spent the rest of the prior evening talking about the test results and second opinion he sought after getting the initial diagnosis. He'd met several specialists who all came to the same conclusions. He would survive until perhaps Labor Day when
his body would begin to deteriorate from the condition with a rapid vengeance. They pleaded with him to focus on building his support structure and informing his friends and family what he'd learned. Only a week had passed since the final confirmation from the doctors, but he hadn't yet stopped going to school or the hospital. In their conversation the prior night, Ethan left his mother with a couple of questions before falling asleep: Should he tell the rest of the family about his condition? Should he ask Emma to marry him? Should he end the relationship and keep the love of his life from watching him die?

  Olivia spent the whole night considering her response. And more of her own questions. Why was such an innocent, beautiful boy going to suffer? How was she going to deal with losing a son and a husband in the same year? What if Ethan was the boy Ben had secretly switched with her dead baby? And what if this was punishment for Ben's decision?

  Ethan's skin flushed. His hair was pasted against his scalp not unlike Olivia's memories of him as a baby in her arms. The earnest smiles and wistful eyes of the boy she'd raised, healing his boo-boos, cooking chicken soup when he stayed home sick from school, and convincing him the first crush would always be the hardest, were long gone and never to return. Of everything she'd confronted in the last few months, this was by far the most painful. When she embarked on a course to spend time with each of her sons, she never expected to end up in a place of far greater devastation.

  Ben made the choice to switch babies. Caleb chose to hide his true identity from his family. Theodore chose to sell the family practice. Zachary chose to sleep with Sarah. Matthew chose to take the pills and go into extreme debt. But her baby, Ethan, didn't choose to get sick. He didn't choose to die. He chose to channel his grandparents' suffering and his own pain into becoming a doctor who could heal people. Who would heal him? She closed her eyes and silently wept ensuring he couldn't see any tears, knowing her duty as his mother dictated a staunch barrier that protected her dissipating grasp on the imminent decline of the Glass family.