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  “Are you excited?” Sarah said. “I can see it plain as the nose on your face.”

  “Yes, I've never been more enthusiastic.” His eyes shined bright as if it contained every star children wished upon.

  The doctor said, “I'm so happy for you both. I know how disappointing the last year has been with the concerns and multiple tests to diagnose if either of you were infertile. I did tell you it would be tough, but not impossible, with Teddy's condition.”

  Sarah's neck and back tensed as the doctor finished talking. “Let's not talk about it. Let's focus on the good news.” She fidgeted with the wires attached to the machine arching over her.

  Teddy looked at the doctor and back at his wife with compressed lips. “Condition?”

  “Yes, I told you. The last time the doctor thought it was low sperm count preventing pregnancy. I guess not.” Sarah tried to sit, but the machine blocked her way. Her body tensed, and the doctor pushed her back down.

  Teddy nodded. “Oh, I must have missed that conversation.” He paused and momentarily considered what it meant, confused at not having any recollection of the discussion, but quickly remembered she was pregnant and wanted to know more. “Yes, how far along, Doctor?”

  The physician finished his exam, peeled off his gloves, and looked at Sarah and Teddy. “I'd say you're right at the thirteen-week mark.” He read the wall calendar and counted on his fingers. “You're going to have a Groundhog baby.”

  Teddy kissed his wife focusing on a future where a different set of blissful hopes had climbed their way to the top. As he moved away, his mind calculated the dates. “February 1st due date?”

  “Yes, sounds right,” the doctor said.

  Sarah counted her fingers on both hands. “We conceived in early May?”

  “Yes, within a few days.”

  Sarah's face displayed a huge rush of joy and relief bobbing back and forth between her husband and the doctor. “You're certain. May?” Sarah's voice echoed a child begging for candy.

  “Yes, there is a margin of error by a few days, but you definitely conceived somewhere between the first and fourth of May, Sarah. We didn't run any pregnancy tests the last two months to give your body a break, hence not finding your news any sooner.”

  Sarah mumbled aloud in a low voice. “It's not Zach's.”

  “What about Zach?” Teddy cocked his head closer to hear his wife more clearly.

  Sarah pushed the machine away with great force and determination, pulling her husband toward her and hugging him. “Nothing. Forget it. If the creek don't rise. We're pregnant. We did it, Teddy.”

  “Yes, we did. I told you it would happen. Now we need to find out if it's a boy or girl.”

  Sarah chimed in appearing unable to contain her excitement. “Let's be surprised, Teddy.”

  “Whatever you want. I'm just so happy you're finally pregnant.”

  “We're pregnant, Teddy,” Sarah said. “You and I are really pregnant.”

  Chapter 19 – Matt

  Matt stood before the ATM on the corner near the park where he often took his girls to play on the swings silently praying he still had cash left in the account. He entered his pin code and requested two hundred dollars.

  His phone vibrated, indicating an incoming text. He read another one from his brother, Teddy, asking him when he'd be at the meeting. He was thirty minutes late at this point, already missing the rescheduled one.

  The ATM shuffled behind the slate wall and asked him if he wanted a receipt. It gave him hope money existed in the account if it had asked him that question. He clicked yes.

  His phone vibrated again. Damn it, Teddy. I'll arrive soon. Stop texting me.

  The ATM asked if he wanted the receipt emailed or printed. Printed. Don't need anyone else seeing it in my email.

  A third message on his phone. This time he looked at it.

  Unknown: Dude. I'm in the parking lot. You got my money?

  Matt punched the ATM willing it to go faster. It spilled out his two hundred in twenties followed by a receipt.

  He grabbed his phone and responded.

  Matt: Yes, I'm five minutes away.

  Matt grabbed the bills, stuffed them in his pocket, and ran to the car. As he started the engine, he looked at the receipt. Nineteen dollars and eleven cents—the remaining balance.

  His phone vibrated.

  Unknown: Leaving in five if you don't show.

  Matt revved the engine and tore out the exit. He needed to show up in time. He'd run out of pills and had no other contacts to get his fix.

  Matt finally showed up at the office by early afternoon, but his brother had already left for the day. He called Teddy and apologized for missing the meeting, glad he didn't have to meet him in person. Teddy set another meeting for nine o'clock the next morning.

  Matt also saw a missed call from his wife. He listened to her message overhearing an entire conversation she seemed to have at the grocery store:

  “Please try again, I'm trying to reach my husband.”

  “Credit or debit, ma'am?”

  “Debit. My husband said our credit card number was stolen, and I need to wait until the new one arrives.”

  Among the background noise, several angry-sounding, terse beeps persisted.

  “Maybe you got a bad debit card, too, ma'am?”

  “He told me not to use credit until he received a new one, but please try it. I have all this food to bring home.”

  Twenty seconds passed, adding to Matt's growing shame.

  “Nope. No good. Let me get the supervisor, ma'am.”

  “I'm so sorry to hold up the line, everyone.”

  Another few seconds of silence.

  “Ma'am, your card has been overdrawn. It says I need to cut it up.”

  “It must be whoever stole the credit card numbers. I'm sure it's all connected. Here, try this one.”

  “No, ma'am. We've already tried two cards. I'm going to need you to step to the side over here, so we can help the other customers.”

  Margaret sobbed. The back of Matt's eyes instantly began to burn.

  “Matt, are you there? Oh, it must have gone to voice mail. Can I at least buy the formula and sandwiches? I might have some cash. My girls need to eat.”

  A loud click indicated the end of the voice message. Matt's back jolted with uncontrollable spasms over the angst in her voice. She had no money for groceries. He had to fix this situation.

  I'm such an idiot.

  He reached into his brown leather briefcase and flipped open the top of the bottle he'd just bought off the kid he'd met in the parking lot. Two more would squelch the dragons inside him as part of the downward spiral he couldn't escape.

  At home that evening, Margaret pressed Matt about the credit card issue while their family ate dinner at the kitchen table.

  “I don't understand what happened, Matt. None of the cards worked. I had to leave everything at the register.” Margaret stood to check the temperature on Melinda's bottle. “It was so embarrassing. Where were you?”

  “The bank screwed it up. I canceled the credit card after someone stole our number. They're supposed to send me a new one this week. I guess they put a freeze on all the accounts until it's fixed.” His feet tapped the center pole in the table. His eyes watched the half-full water glass dance to the edge. There was no way he could tell her he'd been in a parking lot with some sixteen-year-old kid selling him drugs.

  “Okay, but I need money this week for the girls when they go on their play date with friends. I have tomorrow's dinner with my sisters. It's my turn to buy for everyone. What should I do?”

  “Really, Margaret? Can't you push it off until we fix the bank situation? It will only be a few days.” His voice elevated higher with each reply. Condensation around the glass began dripping to the floor, though Matt could do nothing but watch as it teetered a centimeter away from falling.

  “I could, but it was awful, Matt. It was so embarrassing at the grocery store today. I don't want to
tell the girls I need to cancel this week. Can't I go to the bank tomorrow and take cash from our savings?”

  “No, the accounts are frozen. Only I can get any money this week until they fix it.” Matt thought about his options. He could borrow against the petty cash fund at the office again, but he'd already set off a few alarms with the auditors over the missing money. Damn it, when will Dad's inheritance be ready?

  Margaret squeezed her husband's shoulder with one hand while she tested the bottle with the other one. “Can you get cash in the morning before work?”

  Matt dropped the fork he used to feed Melissa. His face drooped, and his fist pounded the table. “You're seriously pushing me on this? Fine, I'll go right now. I don't have time in the morning.” He grabbed his keys and took off for the garage, not giving her a chance to respond nor recognizing as the glass crashed to the ground and splintered into dozens of sharp shards.

  Fifteen minutes later, he unlocked the office door as everyone had already left for the day. He keyed in the combination for the safe and took five hundred dollars hoping it would be enough until the estate formally closed. He flipped on the desk radio and listened to the game, the umpire's strike call against the Red Sox calmed his growing urges. As did two more pills.

  * * *

  Early the next morning, Matt woke to his daughter, Melinda, crying in the next room. Margaret was already in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the older girls. He played with his daughter for a few minutes enjoying every second of her laughter and beautiful smiles. As he set Melinda on the white changing table his parents had given them, Matt looked at the phone, realizing he had a meeting with Teddy in a few hours. His brain vetoed having a conversation of any kind, still focused on debating whether his mother had revealed to Ethan Matt's addiction to pills.

  Matt texted his brother, Teddy, exerting unnatural force against each key in hopes the message would relay sooner than possible.

  Matt: Hey. Got bug from girls. Feel awful. Hold off mtg til btr? Shld be back 2mor.

  No response for ten minutes which was unlike Teddy. After scrolling through his phone, Matt noticed he'd missed a message from another brother and replied.

  Ethan: I miss you. Come fishing with Caleb and me.

  Matt: Can't. Swamped.

  Ethan: Not today. In a couple of weeks.

  Matt: Sorry. Things are crazy right now.

  Ethan: You okay?

  Matt: Fine. Maybe in the fall.

  Ethan: It'd be good to have us all together again. Fall might be too late.

  Matt: Why?

  Ethan: Just is.

  Matt: We'll figure it out. Just don't count on me right now.

  * * *

  By late afternoon, Margaret left their house to drop off the older girls on a play date and meet her sisters for an early dinner. Since Matt had stayed home, Margaret left Melinda with him. He placed his youngest daughter on the couch to watch a cartoon and turned on his laptop to check the status at work, since he'd skipped out for the day. After an hour of catching up on email, his legs and knees jittered. He'd gone most of the afternoon without taking any pills but had reached his limit on holding off from his saving grace.

  He couldn't call out of work again the next day without someone realizing the money had disappeared and asking questions. He tried to reach Ira Rattenbury twice but never heard back. Matt grabbed his briefcase, opened the bottle, and swallowed two pills with a feverish impulse while shutting the bathroom door. He slumped to the floor in disgust over his actions and the situation. He'd surpassed losing control. He had the perfect life organized and designed until a few months ago when money got tighter, and his father began talking about retirement. Matt was suddenly forced to explain where he'd disbursed every cent at the firm, so they could prepare Teddy to assume control of the practice. Since the two partners knew the most about the business after his father, they'd engaged in the discussion and asked detailed questions.

  Matt had never stolen anything. He'd borrow from time to time between the petty cash funds and the account where they paid company taxes, as it always had a surplus. When the surplus evaporated, he no longer had access to easy funds. After receiving his bonus earlier that year, Matt used a significant amount to pay back the accounts, but the additional line of income had run out. Now Margaret was pregnant. All too much to handle.

  Matt turned on the hot faucet in the shower to steam the room. He needed to clear his mind. He rested his head back against the wall rationalizing his situation in the hopes it could help calm him down. His mind wandered, and within a few minutes, he'd fallen asleep with the shower water running on high and the ceiling vent rattling at top volume.

  Olivia pulled in front of Matt's house to check on how he'd progressed since their last conversation. She'd taken the pills away and believed he'd sounded stronger when they last spoke. After learning about Ethan's illness, she chose not to mention Matthew's situation. She never heard back from Zachary after asking him to check on Matthew. Olivia wanted to see for herself how her son was recovering, growing fearful she wasn't equipped to handle the situation.

  After shutting the car door, Olivia walked the driveway and knocked on the front door. No answer. She had spoken to Margaret, who confirmed Matt was home, less than an hour ago. When the crying inside blasted through the windows, Olivia wandered around to the kitchen door, racing as though the house were on fire. She knocked on the door and pushed it open shouting “Hello.” Her heart skipped every other beat until it settled in her throat. No answer, but she definitely heard the girls wailing from somewhere inside.

  Olivia brushed by the kitchen chair, knocking over the jade plant, the one Margaret's mother sent to them as good luck with the renovations, on the table. As she stepped through the hall, the planter crashed to the ground, sending dirt flying across the linoleum floor. It reminded her of every painful truth leaving damage around her.

  Turning the corner, she found Melinda lying on the carpet near her crib, with her foot caught between two of the spindles. Olivia screamed for her son and ran to her granddaughter. She'd had enough of pain in her children's lives, and her granddaughters were among the innocent impacted by the entire disaster her life had become.

  She was afraid to move her granddaughter in case anything had broken in the fall. Melinda whined with a paralyzing force, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Olivia moved the leg stuck in the side of the crib with gentle ease to determine the extent of any damage. As she lifted Melinda's waist higher to free her leg, Matt came running into the bedroom.

  His wet hair pointed in all directions. His face sweat unrelenting and disturbing bulbous drops. His eyes blazed red and grew more and more dilated. “What happened?”

  “You tell me, Matthew. I just arrived.” The ire in Olivia's voice reminded Matt of the childhood scolding he'd witnessed each of his brothers receive. He hung a heavy head in shame.

  They worked together to check Melinda's injuries and surmised she'd been crawling up the side of her crib. She must have caught her leg and fallen backward, trapping herself between the bars, before descending toward the floor. The carpet prevented any serious injury, but the fall had frightened her fragile sense of courage.

  Matt responded with a quiver in his voice more obvious than the distraught expression plastered across his ghostly face. “She's not hurt. She scared herself.” He cradled his daughter against his chest. After a few minutes, her screams quieted, but the weeping still dripped from her eyes and nose.

  “Momma. Want Momma.”

  Olivia reached for her granddaughter, and Melinda opened her arms. As Olivia rocked her back and forth, Matt put light pressure on her legs and arms to confirm nothing had broken.

  Olivia spoke first. “She's fine now, Matthew. Get her a bottle, please.”

  “Yes. Oh, what did I do? My poor girl,” he mumbled, as he left for the kitchen, one hand on his forehead, the other over his mouth. “Daddy's here. Daddy will fix it.”

  Olivia waited until Melinda was ca
lm and stood her up on both feet to observe how she walked. Holding Olivia's fingers, Melinda strolled toward the bedroom door, one slow and careful foot in front of the other, pausing each step, unfazed by her recent accident.

  Olivia cooed. “Such a good girl, Melinda. You're such a good girl. Let's go watch Paw Patrol. Come on, baby girl.”

  Olivia sat her granddaughter on the floor in front of the TV and turned on her favorite show. Melinda loved watching Ryder and his cartoon dogs save the world. Olivia found the vacuum and fixed the planter she had spilled in the kitchen while Matt warmed his daughter's dinner. When it was ready, Matt fed his daughter and she soon fell asleep lying next to him on the couch.

  “Are we going to talk about what happened here, Matthew?”

  “Yes. I screwed up. I only wanted to clear my head for a few minutes, and I guess I fell asleep. It's never happened before. It won't happen again.”

  “Yes, you're damn right it will never happen again. Did you talk to Margaret?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Are you still taking those pills, Matthew?”

  He did not respond.

  “Matthew, we're both too old for me to tell you what to do to fix this. It's one thing to risk your own life, but when you endanger your child's life, it has to stop.”

  “I know, Mom. I know. I can't stop on my own. I tried. I can't keep up with everything I need to do. I can't afford this house anymore. I took money out of the law firm's bank accounts. I can't pay it back.”