Watching Glass Shatter Page 17

  “Are you seriously gonna bust my balls?”

  “Yes, I like those balls, Ms. Minelli. Don't you remember I had it pretty damn hard coming out to my parents? They rejected me. They don't care if I ever go back to see them. Your family are good people who want to support you. You have to learn to accept who you are and forget the rest. I'm one hundred percent certain you'll be a great father. We'll be great fathers together.”

  “Maybe you're right. Maybe it's last-minute jitters.”

  “When's the last time you spoke with your mom?”

  “She left a voice mail yesterday to confirm I'd visit for my dad's birthday next week.” Caleb unlocked the Jeep. “Get in. We have to drive to the restaurant in ten minutes for dinner with my client.”

  “Did you ask your mother if she had concerns when I come with you to Connecticut?” Jake hopped in the passenger seat and pulled the door shut.

  “Not yet. I'll call her tomorrow. You made a lot of good points. I guess I need to do some intense soul-searching.”

  “I love you. I always have. I know what makes you tick. I know when you need a good swift kick in your ass. Take your time. You've got a few days. I'm not worried.” Jake leaned over and hugged his husband. “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

  “Wizard of Oz?”

  “Scarlett O'Hara. Gone with the Wind. At least you've got the right decade this time.”

  As he passed through the hall, Caleb raced the steps and caught the phone before it transferred to voice mail. Though he and his aunt had begun to grow apart since he moved to Maine, they'd always had a strong bond, sometimes even more than Caleb had with his own mother.

  “Aunt Diane. I've missed you. What's going on?”

  “I'm doing well. Your momma's okay. She's sad to plan your daddy's birthday party, but part of me thinks it's helping her heal.”

  “I'm glad you're around for her.” He stepped into the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee, and took a swig.

  “So, tell me, Caleb. When do I get to meet Jake?”

  Caleb choked, spitting out the coffee and watching it fly across the kitchen counter. “Uh… Jake?”

  “Yeah, Jake. Your, uh… secret… uh… husband?”

  “Mom told you? She didn't tell me she had announced it to everybody.” Caleb's stomach retracted further inside his body. He leaned against the sink, bracing himself for more discomfort, certain she'd rip into him for keeping the secret from her for so long.

  “I'm not just anybody. Yes, your mother told me what happened on her trip. But relax. She hasn't told anyone else. She needed to talk to someone who could listen to her side of the story. I've always known, Caleb.”

  Caleb poured the last of the coffee into his cup. “You have?”

  “Yes. I've known since you came home from college the first Thanksgiving. Well, that's a lie of the devil. I've always thought so since you were a young child, but I wasn't sure until you came home that weekend.”

  “That's the one when you went to the hospital after tripping over…”

  “Bailey. Yes, I was so distracted trying to decide whether to tell you I knew, I didn't see the dog. Poor thing. At least he got some turkey.”

  “Damn. Zach figured it out. Now you. Are you upset with me for not telling you?” He regretted not talking to her the last few years, but he also knew how close she and his mother were, unwilling to put his aunt in an awkward position.

  “I could never be upset with you. I know this is hard. Your mother can be a little difficult to handle sometimes. Your father would have been fine. We never talked about it, but he didn't have a spiteful or hateful bone in his body. Not that your mother does either, but she takes things too personally. She'll come around.”

  “How did you know?”

  “You told me, but not with words. Before you left for college, you closed up tighter than a clamshell. You'd only talk about school or your job. You stopped discussing anything too personal and seemed afraid to have an opinion on anything. When you came home that Thanksgiving, I noticed a newfound comfort inside you over your life choices. At first, I thought you matured, then you mentioned a few friends—never any girl's names. I could tell you finally accepted it, but you weren't ready to tell anyone.”

  “I tried to tell you. Mom interrupted.”

  “I know, I remember. I felt bad, but you left soon after, and I didn't wanna push you.”

  “You could have. I would have been honest if you asked me.”

  “It wasn't my job to ask you. It was your job to tell me. Just like it was your job to tell your parents when you felt comfortable.”

  “She's always been a little upset at how close you and I have become,” Caleb said.

  “I've only been filling in while you decided how to tell her. I know what's she's going through, Caleb. When your grandfather died years ago, I couldn't talk to anyone for months. I couldn't think about anything but him. I'm sure your mother is impacted the same way right now.”

  “Do you mean because my dad died?”

  “No, honey. It's not about death. It's about loss. She's trying to understand what she's lost among all these changes. First your father passes, and she is alone sooner than she expected. Then she learns you've been keeping secrets from her. She's scared that she failed to be a good mother or did something wrong when you were a baby.”

  “She didn't do anything. I've always been gay.”

  “I know that. You know that. She's never been around anything different than her. It's instinct for her to find something or someone to blame. It may be the wrong approach, but it's natural.”

  “Do you believe she's changed? Grown from losing Dad?

  “I haven't seen this version of Olivia since we were teenage girls. There's a different kind of fight brewing inside her. One that still wants to win, but maybe knows how to play a fair game now.”

  “So, I should give her a chance?”

  “Yes. If she's raised such a caring and amazing guy, I'm sure she's got the same genes in her. It's just taking a little longer for you to see it.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Diane. I appreciate it.”

  “Good. Trust me. I'm older and wiser. Hurry up and bring this man home to meet me.”

  “I know. I asked Mom if I could bring Jake with me when I come home next month.”

  “And what did she say?” Diane sighed.

  “No response yet. I will ask her again.”

  “Don't ask her today. Wait 'til tomorrow. Let me talk to her today. We had a good moment this week where her mind opened to a few possibilities. She needs time.”

  “Are you sure? I don't want to drop you in the line of fire, Aunt Diane.”

  “I'm positive. Let me figure out how to approach this with her. Email me a picture of Jake. I want to see how cute he is. Something tells me you picked a good one, honey.”

  Caleb laughed while glancing through the window. Jake dropped bright red peppers into a wooden bucket in the outside garden, lavishly skipping and dancing for his husband's amusement. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

  Later in the day, as Caleb stood in line at the downtown village deli to order lunch, an email from his mother arrived.

  Caleb,

  I hope you're having a good week. I'm preparing for the birthday party. It's easier than I thought it would be. I'm excited about all the gifts and the food your father would want to have at his party. I know you were worried about the letter he left us, and you probably think he wrote it to you because of your lifestyle. Don't confuse the two things. We can talk more when you get here. I almost left you a message the other day, but it's easier for me to write down my thoughts than say them to you on the phone.

  I'm not ready to tell you I accept your choices. And I don't mean choosing to be gay. I know enough to believe God builds us all differently. I'm referring to your choice to hide it from your family all these years. I'm putting myself in someone else's shoes more often these days. You have your reasons, and someday maybe we can talk more openly about them. For now,
I want to move forward and learn from it.

  Anyway, the point of this email is to tell you it's okay for you to bring Jake. I want you to be comfortable when you're here. And I'm assuming you'll relax if Jake comes with you. Please go slow with me, Caleb. I can't learn to accept all this change at once. You should both stay at the house with me. Come a few days early so we can figure out how to tell your brothers. Write back and let me know you received this email.

  Love,

  Your mother

  * * *

  Across the room later that evening, Jake sat in the recliner reading a book on adoption laws. When the phone rang again, he answered the call.

  Jake's eyes sparkled. Caleb imagined it was how he looked on Christmas mornings as a child. Jake put his hand on the phone's speaker. “It's the agency. Caitlyn chose us to adopt her baby. She really chose us. If we still want a baby, this one belongs to us.”

  Caleb closed his eyes and prepared to respond, the whole time hoping he'd decided correctly. It was important to stop disappointing the ones he loved, but he also knew he needed to be honest about what he wanted. After all, both his father and Jake had taught him to be honest about the fears and desires lurking within. And sometimes waiting a little longer was the best thing for everyone involved.

  Chapter 17 – Zach

  Zach arrived at The Atlantis Lair fifteen minutes before the DJ booth required his artistic command. The crowd hadn't yet picked up, as the late-nighters kept their pensive distance until at least midnight. He stopped at the west bar and pawned a Diet Coke off the lesbian bartender he'd met earlier in the year. He'd made the mistake of hitting on her his first day at the club, nearly losing his testicles that night. After a few months, they'd grown to appreciate each other's satirical charms.

  Tressa stepped toward Zach. “Some little shit celebratin' his twenty-first birthday just ordered a pussy cocktail. Who has a vodka and cranberry as their first legit drink?” Her voice rode side saddle on the high pitch of the beat playing in the background.

  “Exactly. Should be Absinthe followed by a hit of X. Those were the good days,” Zach said.

  Tressa smirked. “Good days? From what you've hinted, you don't remember the good days, Echo.”

  “Yeah, I remember enough.” Zach winked.

  “Cut the crap,” Tressa interrupted his insolence as she counted her tips. “You've been done with that shit for years. Don't ruin your sobriety by reveling in it again. It's bad enough I let you have a few drinks sometimes. So, how's the crazy going back at Casa Glass?”

  “The usual. I spent the week with my mom earlier this month. She wants me to move back to Brandywine with Anastasia, even thinks I need to create a more stable home life for my girl. I took your advice and tried to tell her about my music.” He smirked. “It didn't go so well.”

  Tressa stuck her finger in her mouth and faked a vomit noise. “Drama sucks.”

  Zach's phone vibrated against the wood trim on the edge of the bar. “Fuck me.”

  Tressa replied, “We've been through this before. Done with your dick. Even if you've got a monster…”

  “Abundantly clear, princess. It's Pickles, and I don't want to talk to him.” Zach backed up with his hands held above his shoulders.

  Teddy had earned the nickname Pickles when Zach learned of his brother's childhood obsession with sneaking into the kitchen late at night to eat an entire jar of sweet and sour pickles, initially claiming it a one-time occurrence when Zach had caught him. Their maid, Louise, let it slip one afternoon that she'd been buying several jars a week for months. Zach coined the new name and tortured his brother for weeks.

  Tressa grabbed the phone. “Echo's line. How's your gherkin?”

  “Echo? Gherkin? Do I have the wrong number? Hello, Zach?”

  “No, you got the right line. Just the wrong name, Pickles.”

  Zach grabbed the phone from a highly entertained Tressa. “Hey, Teddy, what's going on?”

  “Who's Echo? And what's up with the woman who answered the phone?”

  “Ignore her. She's a friend who's hard up for dick.”

  Tressa smashed a cherry in his ear reveling in her latest masterpiece, minor payback for all they'd been through.

  “You have some nice women in your life, brother. Tell me, how's Katerina doing these days? Have you gotten any other girls pregnant?” Teddy said.

  Zach stood stunned for a minute, wiping cherry juiced from the side of his neck admiring and fearing the way it had resembled blood gaping from an open wound.

  “Don't start with me, Pickles.”

  “I've been calling the family all day with my good news. Sarah's pregnant. Or maybe you knew that already?”

  Zach's concern over his brother figuring out what happened between him and Sarah grew quickly. “What's going on? Why would you say that?”

  Zach held his hand over the phone and called to the bartender. “I need a shot of bourbon. Please!”

  “That's good news, right?” said Zach, to the sound of silence meeting him on the other end of the call, still uncertain how much Teddy knew.

  “Of course. I haven't said much to you guys, but we've been trying for a while, and it finally happened. It's good news.”

  “Congratulations. Sarah must be excited.” Zach's body weight relaxed against the bar.

  “Yes. We've known for a couple of weeks, but she wanted to wait until the doctor checked her out. So far, we're good.”

  “That's awesome. Listen. I just got to work. I need to jet. I'll see you at Dad's birthday party next week.” Zach motioned for another shot and hung up the phone.

  The bartender dropped a larger glass of bourbon on the bar's sticky countertop. “Have a double on me. Sounds like you need it.”

  Tressa walked back to the bar and slammed the tray. “Little shithead expected me to give it to him for free on his birthday.” She grabbed Zach's bourbon and downed it. “I need this more than you.”

  Zach blinked his puppy dog eyes, and the bartender poured him another glass before walking to the other side of the bar.

  Tressa said, “Why does your ass need a double?”

  Zach checked the time. Five minutes before he clocked in. “Smoke break, let's go.” He grabbed Tressa's hand and led her to the street.

  Once outside, he explained the situation to Tressa as she lit up muttering about the kid who tried to cop a feel for his birthday.

  “Zach, I'd kill you if you were still my boyfriend.”

  “Yeah, you make a better friend than nag… though I do miss burying my face in those tits. Brrr… At least I don't have to listen to you bitch at me all the time.” His voice was full of painted-on exuberance.

  “Listen to me, papi. I kicked your ass once before, and I'll do it again if you keep bein' a little bitch boy. You've gotta stop doin' this shit to yourself. I'm on your side, but seriously, this is messed up. That's your sister-in-law, Zach.” She grabbed his ear and yanked. “So, your brother doesn't know, right?”

  Zach rubbed his tingling ear. “No. She won't tell him. He called to tell me they were pregnant. He thinks it's his baby. He was pretty happy.”

  “Sounds so. Now what?”

  “Well, my mother wants me to tell him what happened. I kind of told her the secret when I slept over at the house. I told you serious shit happened.”

  “What do you wanna do?”

  “I don't know. It's done. What's the harm at this point? We share the same DNA. There's nothing between Sarah and me. A parent is the person who raises you, not your biological father or mother. Case in point… Katerina. She's not Anastasia's mother even though that bitch gave birth to her.”

  Tressa shrugged. “I get it. How's that situation going?”

  “My mom found me a good lawyer who's filing paperwork to ensure the custody arrangement is a permanent one. He's gonna serve Katerina the papers next week.”

  Tressa dropped her cigarette in Zach's shot glass and headed back to the club. “We gotta get inside. Your shift start
s.”

  * * *

  The next day, Zach woke at Olivia's place where he'd left Anastasia overnight while he'd been working. He'd slept for most of the afternoon until hunger pains twisted in his gut. He headed downstairs and found his mother in his father's study with the blinds closed sitting at the desk in the dark.

  “Hey, how's it hanging?”

  “Zachary, good to see you. It's hanging… low?” They both laughed. “I finished planning with the caterers for the party. Diane and I took Anastasia to visit Matthew and Margaret for breakfast this morning. Have you spent much time with your brother lately?”

  “Yeah, I saw the note when I arrived this morning. Thanks for watching her again. No, I haven't talked to Matt in weeks. We don't exactly keep the same schedules.”

  “Can you find time for him this week? He's been a bit depressed lately.” Olivia's hands traced the edge of the desk as though it were her late husband's arm. “Anastasia had fun. She and Melanie get along well. It would be so nice if they attended school together this fall, don't you think?”

  Zach ignored the comment about school. “I'll call Matt this week and schedule plans to have dinner. Speaking of depression, Mom. You still haven't told us what was in Dad's letter. I want to know what was in his last message to us. I've let it go for a few weeks, but you owe us an explanation about the second one being for one of his sons?”

  “Yes, I do need to talk to you about it. I'm planning to discuss it at his birthday party. I needed to pull the final pieces together, and I wanted to spend time with each of you boys before explaining the letter.”

  “That's not for another week. Can't you tell me now?” Zach's voice shot closer to a whiny two-year-old in desperate need of a nap. Yelling didn't work last time, so a different approach might get better results.